The wedding race
by fangirlandiknowit
Summary: They say third time's the charm but Naruto isn't so sure when he, once again, runs the risk of missing his own wedding. But what's a poor groom to do when the city suffers from a terrible gridlock! Shikamaru might have an idea... NarutoxSasuke


Soooo this is a oneshot for gweatherwax since she won my "What happens next?" challenge back when I did my 1K+ challenge… you can read her prompt on tumblr.

And, I couldn't resist adding a little twist to it. I sure hope you guys have read her fic Heatstroke, though if you haven't you can still enjoy this oneshot. BUT let's just say it's a fanfic of a fanfic:D A tribute, or something! Which is why there are a couple of phrases in Portuguese here that she so kindly translated for me.

Anyway if you haven't read it you totally should because this fic doesn't contain smut but hers is just overflowing with it. Mm yes.

I hope you like it!

* * *

Sometimes, Naruto was a morning person. At least that's what he liked to tell people when they tried in vain to wake him up before noon on days off. Once he did open his eyes, he always muttered his motto when it came to sleeping in - if you can sleep, why wouldn't you. Especially with a certain someone in his arms.

Today, however, Naruto should have woken up early. Had he known, he would have been up before the sun. As it was, he'd been blissfully asleep, completely oblivious to the fact that his apartment currently resided on the outskirts of a 50 km radius gridlock, with traffic at a complete and utter standstill. When his alarm rang, he sleepily rubbed his eyes and stretched, immediately frowning at being alone in bed. He sighed, thinking his lover was so ridiculously stubborn sometimes, but couldn't help a fond smile gracing his lips when he thought of how _soon_ a certain stubborn bastard would be his forever.

Yes, today was Naruto's wedding day –his third one, to be precise– and no force on earth could possibly prevent him from joining his love in holy matrimony this time. Or well, the holy part he wasn't so sure of, and the thought made him snicker to himself. He had _such_ great plans for their honeymoon, namely to fuck Sasuke into an incoherent mess against every surface available.

Sitting up, he yawned wide before checking the time. He had an hour and a half until he was supposed to meet Sasuke at the City Hall, more than enough time to get showered and change before taking the bus there. He would have taken his bike but...

He froze, fingers hovering above the alarm button. The music had been interrupted by a news message, and Naruto could feel his insides drop through the floor as panic flooded him.

" _...I repeat, the city is under lockdown, public transport is out and roads are packed full. Most phone lines are down. We advice you not to go outside unless you really must, and if you are already in a car, please turn off the engine and..."_

Naruto stopped listening, instead rushing over to his living room window and throwing it open. In the distance, he could see one of the bigger roads completely clogged up, the distant noise of car horns reaching him as bile started rising up his throat.

Oh, Sasuke was going to _murder_ him!

Or worse, he'd actually go through with his threat of marrying the first person to show up outside the City Hall should Naruto fail to get there on time.

"Fudeu," [Oh fucking hell] he breathed out, forcing his frozen limbs to move as he ran towards the front door and only stopping to put on a pair of boxers, all but throwing himself down one flight of stairs before banging on a door. It took almost a minute for the door to open, by which time he'd started shouting obscenities at the useless resident inside for not opening yet.

When it did open, it revealed one highly irritated Shikamaru, his long brown hair tousled and expression clearly telling he was barely awake.

"Fuck shit Shika yougottahelpmei'msodead!" he yelled, grabbing the other man by his t-shirt and shaking him, earning himself a loud groan. "Shika you don't understand! I'm gonna miss my wedding if you don't help me! I need a miracle at this point! Fuck!"

"Calm down, Naruto. Panic wastes time."

Naruto's body froze again as he stared wide-eyed at the other. Fuck, of course, what the hell was he thinking panicking like this! Combing a shaky hand through his hair, he forced himself to breathe properly.

He quickly explained what was going on, not needing to say much since Shikamaru was invited to the wedding and already knew that Naruto would be in deep shit if he arrived as much as a minute late.

"I mean it's not just Sasuke, _he_ might forgive me, but his mother? Or Itachi?! Fuck they're gonna kill me and then throw me to the alligators and _then_ fire me!"

"Sheesh," Shikamaru said, scratching his ear. "Can't you take your bike?"

"You _know_ Sasuke has confiscated it!"

And he had, because the first date they'd set had been ruined by an unfortunate road accident Naruto had been the victim of two hours before their supposed ceremony. Because of that, Sasuke had taken it upon himself to hide the bike –and it was Naruto's baby, dammit!– several weeks ago, forcing him to suffer through public transportation. Sure, Sasuke did it out of _concern_ , but Naruto mourned the possibility of never getting to have sex on it again.

That was a different problem however, and right now he needed _something_ to transport him 40 km before midday.

"Come _on_ Shika, you're supposed to be a genius! Think of something!"

The brunet sent him an irritated look, but apparently took pity on him. He wasn't the only one who'd experienced the bond between Naruto and his precious Japanese, and he wasn't that bad of a friend to watch his dream wedding crash and burn a third time.

"Go shower and get dressed, I'll have something figured out by then," he told the close to hysterical groom-to-be, and Naruto let out an explosive "Thank you!" before rushing back up to his apartment to do as told.

He got ready in record time, checking his phone but of course there was no signal as he speed-walked back and forth through the apartment. Why the _fuck_ did Sasuke think it was a good idea to leave him alone the morning of their wedding! Sure, the second date had been ruined by Naruto being forced to go on an impromptu business trip, but damn he would have made it if it wasn't for the goddamn food poisoning he'd gotten after eating breakfast at the hotel.

Mikoto had been livid, threatening to fire the person responsible for sending Naruto on the trip until she'd been informed that Naruto himself had been. Sasuke had wanted him to be fired anyway because he didn't like how their precious time together was eaten up by work, but Mikoto was having none of that, sadly. She'd settled for suing the shit out of the hotel instead, but if she'd succeed was a different matter. Though, considering she was an Uchiha, Naruto wouldn't bet on the hotel winning.

Honestly he'd thought Sasuke would chain him to the wall inside the City Hall for a week before the ceremony this time, but instead he'd decided that if Naruto couldn't make it himself, then clearly he wasn't ready for this kind of commitment.

Unfair, but Naruto was too smitten with the bastard to complain. After all, there was no way in hell he'd be late this time, or so he'd thought...

Once he made it back to Shikamaru's door he was met by a note telling him to meet outside. Praying to anything that would listen, Naruto made his way outside where the sun was brightly shining as opposed to his mood.

"What the hell is this?!" he demanded to know when he found his friend busy sawing off the bottom of a beer crate.

"Your transportation, be grateful," Shikamaru grunted, waving a hand at the other objects spread around him on the street.

There was an engine on four wheels and a toolbox next to the beer crate, and Naruto's panic rose again as he wondered what the hell Shikamaru had been drinking last night.

"Você tá falando a sério!?" [Are you saying that seriously!?]

"Sure, it'll get you there on time, no worries. Go see if you can find something to use as a steering wheel in the storage room, will you?"

Wide-eyed, short on breath and barely able to keep from screaming out loud, Naruto turned on his heels to dig through Shikamaru's storage room. Having a hobby mechanic as a friend was apparently great for situations like these, but he was way too wound up to be grateful. In fact, his thoughts went more along the lines of throwing the heavy metal objects in the storage space at Shikamaru if he didn't save him from this mess.

By the time Shikamaru was done with his little contraption only half an hour had passed since Naruto woke up, yet it felt like an eternity. He was all but jumping in frustration when the brunet announced he was done, and if the other hadn't grabbed his arm and forced him to listen to how it worked, it was highly possible he would have crashed at the first turn.

Thankfully, the engine roared to life and Naruto was on his way, with only a tiny smudge on his white shirt collar that he hoped Sasuke wouldn't notice. Too stressed to feel as idiotic as he probably looked, he sped out onto the main road, pressing himself in between the motionless cars and ignoring the exclamations following him.

All he had to do was keep his head cool and hope that Sasuke wouldn't be too mad at him.

xxx

Sasuke wasn't pacing. Of course he wasn't. His fingers _did_ twitch a lot though, and he might possibly be staring straight into a wall, but that was beside the point. He wasn't moving. He was calm.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. Why was there even a clock there. It wasn't helping.

Turning back to stare at the wall, he gnawed at his lower lip and pretended it wasn't a mere 40 minutes left until Naruto would arrive late.

Sasuke had spent the past few hours inside a small waiting room, refusing to talk to anyone unless they were there to tell him Naruto had arrived.

Clenching his fists, he resumed his waiting.

xxx

Naruto wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. Yes, he was moving forwards, and yes, he still wasn't impossibly late, but what the _fuck_ was up with all these people thinking he wanted to _talk_ to them?! He was on a mission for fuck's sake!

"Sai daí!" [Get out of the way!] he yelled, waving his arm as a family with three kids blocked his way, seemingly having decided to camp between the cars as they waited for the gridlock to clear up.

They scrambled to move, and for a few seconds Naruto almost feared he would run them over. He didn't think Sasuke would appreciate it if a police officer arrived at the Hall to tell him Naruto was unable to come to his wedding in, like, forever. Still, he was making progress, even with people taking pictures and recording him and shouting things at him. Sure, if he was any of them, he'd probably think it was hilarious to see a guy dressed in a tuxedo driving a beer crate, but still. Not helping.

Gritting his teeth he sped on, heart a furious staccato in his chest.

 _I'm coming, Sasuke. Please please wait for me_. He sent the thought ahead of him, hoping it would reach his lover telepathically since his phone was still useless.

30 minutes left.

xxx

Sasuke's head felt like it was spinning, and his stomach was trying to convince him he _really_ wanted to empty its contents. Why the hell did he come up with this idea again?! Oh yeah, he'd been pissed because Naruto had joked about being late again and it had just slipped out. Now, he was starting to regret it. A _lot_.

What if he'd been in another accident? What if Sasuke giving him this ultimatum had scared him off?

The first option was more believable and Sasuke didn't like it one bit.

Standing up he went over to the door and threw it open, startling his brother who stood on the other side, talking into what looked like a walkie talkie while his other hand held his phone. Ignoring his brother's strange habits, he hesitated in the doorway. His pride refused to let him start babbling incoherently about his worries, but Itachi sent him a reassuring smile.

"Come on, otouto, you don't doubt Naruto, do you?"

If Sasuke's nerves weren't so high strung right now he would have scoffed in reply. Instead, he simply swallowed the lump in his throat with some difficulty and slammed the door shut again.

If the blond, sexy moron didn't show up on time Sasuke would personally torture him for months. And by torture he meant forcing him to cum on his own in the bathroom once Sasuke was finished with him.

xxx

Torn between two choices, neither particularly tempting, Naruto swore several times before changing course. He was finally closing in on the City Hall, but _of course_ the main roads there would be completely blocked with people milling about, as if they had no lives to take care of.

Deciding to pick the lesser of two evils, he steered his so called vehicle across a small market square. There weren't too many people, but he was still forced to slow down and shout at them to move their dumb asses. At one point, some idiot with a bike almost ran into him and Naruto was forced to veer off to the side, accidentally bumping against a man busy unpacking some fruit from a van.

"Foi mal!" [Sorry!] he called out to him as he didn't bother to stop. Normally he'd feel bad and help out with the fruit that fell to the ground, but _normally_ he wouldn't be taking a shortcut across a square on a beer crate while running late for his wedding.

He would have laughed if his chest wasn't hurting so bad from thinking of Sasuke deciding he wasn't worth the effort anymore. Not that he'd ever let him break up with him just like that, but still. If they managed to go through with the marriage today, Naruto promised he would never traumatize Itachi again. It wouldn't surprise him if Itachi had actually cursed him somehow for all the times he'd been forced to find his sweet otouto in compromising situations courtesy of a certain blond.

Reaching the end of the square with no casualties, he mentally went through the city map, trying to decide on which back streets would contain less people.

Shrugging and leaving it up to fate, he took a left turn and almost fell off as he looked at a huge digital clock on one building.

15 minutes left.

xxx

Not sure if he should be amused or worried, Itachi watched the video Shisui had sent him. It had started out with a blurry recording of a blond man in a tuxedo speeding through a mass of people, frantically yelling for them to move and swearing obscenely. The reporter had had a lot of fun reading up a couple of tweets regarding the affair, but had now turned to interview one of the eye witnesses, a fruit vendor named Asuma.

" _...and he just sped past me, not even looking where he was going, totally out of his mind I tell you._ _I wanna know who's gonna pay for my load, it's peaches man, nobody gonna pay for bruised peaches, and you know peaches, they bruise so much as you_ _look_ _at them!"_

The camera turned to the ground to sweep across the peaches spread out there, but Itachi had seen enough. He debated showing Sasuke, but figured he could suffer a little more for being so stubborn. Sure, nobody liked being stood up twice, though Naruto had had good reasons and hadn't exactly been happy about it, either. And while Itachi supposed he should be on his brother's side, he also knew that Naruto wanted nothing more than to make him deliriously happy every day for the rest of their lives.

So, for now, he'd leave his little brother to himself.

xxx

Naruto had repeated his entire vocabulary for curses several times over, and was busy inventing new ones as he slowly made his way along the back streets towards the City Hall. There should be a law against people blocking the passage simply by _standing around_ doing absolutely _nothing,_ as far as he could tell. They even had the audacity to be offended when he oh so politely asked them to move. Fine, Naruto didn't like yelling at strangers, but this was an emergency dammit. At least he'd realized that yelling "Late groom coming through!" before the insults made people slightly more eager to get out of his way.

He was sure he'd be hearing about this for years on end.

Some people pointed at him as if they recognized him, and that was even worse because they tended to come closer instead of just using their tiny little brains to _get lost_.

The stress was getting to him, and when he managed to make two kids cry for being slow he gritted his teeth and tried to curb his frustration. Not that it really worked but at least he tried.

Just a few more streets, and Naruto could fall exhausted into the arms of a brightly smiling Sasuke, bringing him in for a kiss and maybe a little bit of groping too to improve his mood.

And then, what wasn't allowed to happen did. There was a road construction up ahead, with only the walkway remaining intact and even that one was a wobbly affair of wooden planks filled with people pushing against each other as they crossed it. No wonder there weren't any cars on this street.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto drove as close to it as he dared, then turned off the engine and resigned himself to half pushing, half carrying the heavy engine through the curious looks of the people he met. He could hear the sounds of a helicopter hovering somewhere above him, probably reporting about the traffic chaos, and he sent a longing thought in its direction.

When this was over he was _never_ letting Sasuke take away his bike again!

xxx

Sasuke had resorted to pacing. There were only five minutes left and no sign of his favorite Brazilian yet.

"That damn usuratonkachi," he mumbled to himself, kicking at the chair he'd sat in up until a couple minutes ago.

He glared up at the clock that resumed its innocent ticking. Maybe if he… Squaring his shoulders, Sasuke dragged the chair over to the wall and promptly stood on it, grabbing the clock and turning it over, taking a couple seconds to figure out which direction to turn the button present there.

When he placed it back in its original place, it now said ten minutes left instead of five, and somehow that made Sasuke feel incredibly satisfied with himself.

xxx

Naruto had never been more happy in his life over the fact that the City Hall was surrounded by wide streets and a plaza at the front, making it much easier for him to find some space to drive. Sure, there were cars standing still even here, but at least he could maneuver through them to finally reach the plaza and speed across it. He didn't dare to search for somewhere to see the time, because he was scared shitless of finding out he was too late.

The helicopter was right above him now, and Naruto sent it an angry glare as he jumped off the beer crate and took five precious seconds to turn it off before rushing up the stairs like his life depended on it.

And it sort of did.

 _Maybe I should buy a helicopter_ , he thought in half-hysterical amusement as he threw the doors open and was met by none other than Itachi, standing firm with crossed arms and one elegant eyebrow lifted.

"You're three minutes late," the older man informed him, and Naruto fell to the floor in a boneless heap as all the stress that had accumulated transformed into despair.

"Oh god, why," he whispered, hating himself with a passion.

"But my otouto has yet to emerge from the room he's shut himself into, so I'd say you've still got a shot."

Naruto stiffened for a second, then jumped up as a flood of adrenaline washed through him.

"Up the stairs and second door to the right!" Itachi called after him, and he swore the other was laughing at him.

"You little shit!" he called back as he ascended the stairs, taking three steps at a time.

xxx

Itachi went over to the still open doors, stepping out onto the stairs just in time to see his mother and Shisui being lowered down from the helicopter.

"Looks like he got here all on his own," Shisui cheerfully said before grabbing the sides of his suit jacket to bring him in for a kiss.

"Of course," Mikoto added, "nothing but the best for my children."

The three grinned at each other, then placed their bets on how long it would take for the two grooms to join them.

xxx

Naruto slid to an almost stop outside the door Itachi had directed him too, pushing down the handle and slamming it open.

Sasuke shouted in surprise.

Naruto shouted in shock.

Sasuke wobbled dangerously on the chair, clutching a clock in his hands, steadying himself on Naruto's shoulder when he rushed over to help him.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Naruto yelled, hugging Sasuke's legs tightly.

"None of your business," Sasuke gritted out, straightening up and glaring down at him. "And you're late."

Noticing the clock Sasuke was holding, Naruto reached out to take it from him, having to pull with some force because Sasuke wouldn't let go at first.

"It says I've got five minutes to go," he stated in wonder, looking up at the red-faced Sasuke. "Were you doing something to it?"

"I was giving you the benefit of doubt," Sasuke muttered, crossing his arms and glaring off to the side.

Happiness swelling inside him, Naruto dropped the clock onto the floor and took a better hold of Sasuke's thighs before lifting him off the chair, spinning him around in a circle as he laughed brightly.

"I knew you would," he replied confidently, letting the scowling brunet down to the floor before sweeping in to kiss him.

Sasuke, however, stopped him with a hand over his mouth.

"You're still late," he pointed out, causing Naruto to calm down and look at him seriously.

He combed a hand through his lover's silky smooth hair, bumping their foreheads softly together and mumbling through Sasuke's hand.

"I came as fast as I could. I wasn't exactly expecting to drive here on a beer crate, but I did show up, didn't I?"

"Why the hell would you drive here on a beer crate, dumbass."

Sasuke's nose had wrinkled and Naruto pecked it after removing the hand across his mouth.

"Well, because of the gridlock obviously." Dark eyes watched him in confusion. "You... didn't hear about the chaos outside?"

Shaking his head, Sasuke's confusion morphed into an insulted look.

"That damn Itachi, I can't believe he didn't tell me!"

Naruto chuckled, pulling Sasuke even closer to him and giving him another, longer kiss on the mouth this time. Sasuke's arms slid around his neck as he melted into the touch, but then pale fingers tugged harshly at the hair by his neck.

"You could have called me."

"Phone lines are down."

"Is it just me or is someone really against our wedding?"

Shrugging, another grin spread across Naruto's face.

"As long as _you're_ not that someone."

Sasuke let out a snort as Naruto kissed him again, his tongue eagerly coming out to play. When Naruto sucked on it hungrily he moaned, and there really was no other way Naruto could react besides pushing Sasuke up against the wall and pressing his entire body against him. It had been too long since he felt Sasuke's heat, breaths mingling as the kiss turned rougher.

"You're not supposed to –nnngh– kiss me before the ceremony," Sasuke panted when Naruto's mouth left his to explore the expanse of skin along his sensitive neck, fingers digging possessively into his sides.

"Says who," Naruto disagreed, running his tongue along Sasuke's collarbone underneath his shirt.

Sasuke didn't bother replying, instead pulling desperately at Naruto's suit jacket to feel him even closer, spreading his legs so he would fit comfortably between them. Naruto crashed their mouths together again, teeth nipping at Sasuke's lower lip until he gasped and parted his lips to allow his tongue inside.

With Sasuke in his arms like this, eager and loving and soon-to-be his husband, none of the previous anxiousness could stay in his system. Running his hands up and down Sasuke's sides underneath his jacket he swallowed a content sigh from the other man, kissing him long and hard for it.

When he pulled away so that their mouths were just barely brushing, Sasuke made an annoyed sound and tried to resume their kissing.

"Hold on, I want to say something."

Eyes widening, Sasuke licked his lips nervously, arms resting over Naruto's shoulders.

"Well spit it out," he demanded, Naruto chuckling at his annoyed tone of voice that caught by the end when he lifted a hand to gently stroke Sasuke's cheek.

"I was so scared I wouldn't make it on time," he admitted in a whisper, searching Sasuke's eyes but the other looked down at the floor.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Sasuke mumbled, a faint smile gracing his lips when Naruto bumped their noses together in an affectionate gesture.

"I'm sure you can find a way to make it up to me."

Sasuke glared at him, but couldn't properly hide his amusement underneath it.

"But, um, that's not what I wanted to say, actually." Leaning in, Naruto breathed the words into Sasuke's ear, finishing by pressing his lips lovingly to Sasuke's temple.

" _Usuratonkachi,"_ Sasuke hissed, but in his eyes were a mix of helpless love and pure devotion, and Naruto captured his lips again thinking he could kiss him forever.

He would at least kiss him until someone came knocking at the door.


End file.
